It's that time of the year...the birthday month!As a kid, life was great ..and around my birthday..even better! Amazing parents to buy me awesome stuff, cool friends to come to my party and also get me awesome gifts, amazing food, benevolent aunts and uncles to ...that's right, also get me awesome stuff..you see where I'm going with this... And then , I HAD to go and grow up....These days, a birthday is a good time to introspect...sans good food and awesome stuff :(
To be very honest, this isn't what I thought or hoped my life would be at this age. There are many things that I can say about this , but very little that hasn't already been said or debated over...there is so much I could have done had good sense prevailed, but so much that I had to learn...(and continue to do so) the hard way...there is so much I should do now to correct myself, but so little I can do because the heart doesn't let me. Having said that, it could have been a lot worse. Maybe life isn't this complicated, and as my dad says "you are as happy as you want yourself to be". Maybe its just me..or maybe I just need more introspection. Too many maybes, too little time.
As women, it is expected that we "blend" or "fit" into the many roles that society has carved out for us, at different stages in our life. For some of the free-spirited women, living with these constraints makes life a constant struggle. But every now and then, a glimmer of hope comes along that lets you dream again...that maybe even lets you believe you can be you, without being condemned. Sometimes this can be a parent who hugs you every morning, sometimes a friend who tells you that no man is worth your tears and that you will get a million men you like, the day you want ; sometimes it can be in the form of short-lived and maybe unrequited love, that teaches you - 'This too shall pass and you shall survive'. For me, this glimmer came to me when my sense of self came to me, because after heartache, heartbreak and headaches, I realised an inevitable, unavoidable, and glaringly obvious truth -
Because, now, jaded yet hopeful , tired yet refreshed, I quote the golden words of Rhett Butler (Gone with the Wind) - "Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn."
To be very honest, this isn't what I thought or hoped my life would be at this age. There are many things that I can say about this , but very little that hasn't already been said or debated over...there is so much I could have done had good sense prevailed, but so much that I had to learn...(and continue to do so) the hard way...there is so much I should do now to correct myself, but so little I can do because the heart doesn't let me. Having said that, it could have been a lot worse. Maybe life isn't this complicated, and as my dad says "you are as happy as you want yourself to be". Maybe its just me..or maybe I just need more introspection. Too many maybes, too little time.
As women, it is expected that we "blend" or "fit" into the many roles that society has carved out for us, at different stages in our life. For some of the free-spirited women, living with these constraints makes life a constant struggle. But every now and then, a glimmer of hope comes along that lets you dream again...that maybe even lets you believe you can be you, without being condemned. Sometimes this can be a parent who hugs you every morning, sometimes a friend who tells you that no man is worth your tears and that you will get a million men you like, the day you want ; sometimes it can be in the form of short-lived and maybe unrequited love, that teaches you - 'This too shall pass and you shall survive'. For me, this glimmer came to me when my sense of self came to me, because after heartache, heartbreak and headaches, I realised an inevitable, unavoidable, and glaringly obvious truth -
You will never be alone when you make friends with yourself.That, and of course, my dad - my rock, my wall and the reason I firmly believe that the only man a girl can really love is her dad, because it is only from him she will ever get unconditional love, no matter what she turns into. So here's an ode to you, Papa - I will always love you. As for the rest of the men -
Here's to the guys who love me, the losers who lost me and to the lucky bastards who get to meet me~Source Unknown.
Because, now, jaded yet hopeful , tired yet refreshed, I quote the golden words of Rhett Butler (Gone with the Wind) - "Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn."
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