They say the inability to accept loss is a form of insanity, its probably true. But sometimes, its the only way to stay alive.Yes, this is a line from a TV show. Yes, it is a show that some deem frivolous. No, that doesn't make it any less relevant, any less striking. Loss...Why is it then that we find it so hard to accept? What is it that leaves so many of us in denial for so long? Loss of a loved one, of a relationship, of a job, of a friendship..at what point do these people and things weave themselves into our lives so intricately, that when it comes apart, it seems like our life has unraveled.I'm not talking about any gut-wrenching pain, or that place where your pillow is drenched in your tears, or that feeling where it seems like someone has ripped a hole in your body and you feel empty..No, its more like...there's a whole mess of crap lying around you, and you're picking up your feet to wade through it, and at some point you just give up and sit down in that mess? Anyone else feel that way sometimes?
And then at some point, you pick up and move on...and life starts to look up again...look good again..and then BOOM. One fine day, when you thought you were a rock star, you've hit rock bottom...again? One fine day, after months of feeling normal and moving on with your life, you just sit down and are unable to move for an entire day, wondering when all this happened, how to undo it? This sense of not knowing where you are in your own home, this sense of feeling lost amongst your own, this lack of comprehension of your own life and what you've made of it...
Remember when we were kids, and life seemed so simple..we all had a plan. We would grow up, fall in love, get a job, get married. Right? That was it..Then at what point did it reach this stage where you look at yourself, your life and go "Dear God, who is this and what have they done with my life? MY life....is THIS my life?"
I didn't plan for the complications, I didn't plan for this inexplicable feeling of disorientation and constant anxiety..I didn't plan for my sense of calm being punctuated with feelings of failure. I planned on adulthood, but I guess I didn't plan on dealing with it. I want my money on life back :-/
From the same TV show -
I guess we're adults. The question is, when did that happen, and how do we make it stop?
Comments
All these years, I have thought through why we cannot deal with loss. Loss is inevitable as much as change is and yet, when we lose something…anything we think life is over.
I would like to take this opportunity to blame the fucking Cinderellas and the Sleeping beauties to start with. No, a prince charming won’t come around and take us out of our miserable situations. If anything, he will just make it more miserable. I’d like to write Cinderella part II, where the prince charming had an affair with Cinderella’s step sister, married her step-mother and had fun while Cinderella had like a dozen children and her fairy godmother was dead. Anyhow, you get the gist.
Then, I would like to blame the movie stars for showing us shit. No, guys are not the knights in shining armors. They are morons and no, we aren’t the humble sacrificing beauties, we are distorted and have convoluted minds. We are jealous, we are insane and selfish. Big deal! Guys get what they want and we get what we want. The world is based on symbiosis anyway!
The truth is Shraddha, life sucks. It always will. You just got to deal with it. Tough shit, like you say.
Loss of a person, a relationship or something important hurts because we build our identity around the people that surround us. We are taught to be grateful for everything that we have and everything that we get. I’d like to find the person who started what we call “society” and personally hang him..until he is dead. The society decides how good/bad I am. If I don’t produce children or at least lay the grounds for it the moment I am married, I am doomed. When that kid cries and poops and irritates the hell out of me, society says well you got to deal with it. Ohh and if I decide to do the same thing before marriage, well tough shit! You are a s.l.u.t Yeah right. You need to get out of the mould that is called the society. See for yourself that you are this very strong, independent person, smarter than at least 90% women I know(that’s a sizeable sample). And life is not always a winding road in the midst of yellow woods. It can be a walk in the midst of a road full of potholes, a bump here and some dirt there. As long as you keep your head high, love yourself and believe that the society can go take a walk, you are a success.
And about reaching rock bottom, well they say "sky is the limit" well then I say, you will ALWAYS be below it. Love you. You are strong and you can kick ass. You have that going for you!
If I can hold on to existing virtues, and my loved ones and friends are doing good - its a good day for me. And I'll live to fight another day. Just one day at a time.
- Sanket
My deal - Born and raised in Mumbai, been living in the US since 2004. Have always been a writer, but started my site in 05. And I hope to make the transition to full time creative writing - soon ..
Oh - I'd love to interact over email - rather than comments section - where the comment is not relevant to the post anymore - please do message me at sanket.korgaonkar@gmail.com - look forward to hearing more. And it was my bad - it does say Bloomignton IN - I thought NY for some reason.